


No One Will Ever Know

by TrepidationChance



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Kinda Crack, Not the right way to go about it though, Pranks and Practical Jokes, They just want to be respected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 21:53:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9568460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrepidationChance/pseuds/TrepidationChance
Summary: Bokuto and Kuroo just want Tsukishima to respect them. They were being really helpful too! Maybe, he needed a bit of coaxing...Disclaimer: This was all Kuroo's idea. Bokuto just made it worse.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a friend, who wanted a BokuKuroo crack brofic. I've never really written crack in my life, so I'm not sure if it fits the bill or not. I'm sorry!! I tried and this is the result, I guess.

It was after another gruelling day when the idea popped into his mind. A wide smile stretched across his face and he started to snicker. It was perfect.

“Hey hey hey! What are you giggling about?”

He raised his head to see two yellow eyes peering at him curiously.

“I wasn’t giggling.” He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Sure, if you say so!” His friend walked up to him and bumped his shoulder. “Tell me! What’s up?”

The chuckling continued.

“Don’t you think Four-Eyes is really rude to us?”

“Yeah! We offer him advice and stuff, but he still gives us the cold shoulder!”

His smile stretched wider. “I think we should teach him a lesson.”

“Woah!” His friend jumped back, waving his arms around in distress. “No way! That would be rude too!”

“No, not like that!” He beckoned his friend back over. “Lend me an ear.”

He whispered his plan to his friend.

Silence.

“YEAH! Let’s do it!”

* * *

 

Tsukishima opened his eyes. The sun’s rays were seeping past the curtains and the futons next to him were empty. Great. It’s morning. Please let today be less tiring than yesterday.

He rolled over and reached out to where he had placed his glasses, only to touch the floor. The very empty floor.

He patted around, only to find the rest of the floor in the exact same state: glassless.

“Yamaguchi.”

His friend rolled over, tightened his grip on his pillow and groaned.

“Yamaguchi.”

“…..Hmm…..?”

“Where are my glasses?”

“Sorry, Tsukki. Give me another minute...”

“Oh, for goodness’ sake.” Tsukishima reached out and dragged the pillow out of Yamaguchi’s embrace.

“No…..”

“Yamaguchi. My glasses.”

Finally, he got up and stretched, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes.

“Your glasses?”

“Yes. Where are they?”

Yamaguchi glanced around. “Huh.” He then lifted up his futon. “Nope. It’s not under your blanket?”

Tsukishima lifted it up. “No.”

“Maybe you misplaced it?” Yamaguchi suggested.

“And got into the futon without stepping on you? What a miracle.”

“Then maybe someone’s accidently taken it?”

Tsukishima paused.

“No.”

“Hm?”

“It was no accident.”

* * *

 

“I can’t believe he didn’t wake up!”

Bokuto fiddled around with the glasses before putting them on. “Wah! They’re pretty strong! Are you sure we should take them?”

Kuroo grinned. “Yeah, totally! The more he needs them, the more appreciative he’ll be when we “find” them!”

They continued to walk to the cafeteria, their stomachs rumbling loudly enough to turn heads. Suddenly, Bokuto stopped.

“Aren’t these the chibi’s?” He pointed to a pair of knee pads on the floor.

Kuroo nodded. “Looks like it.”

Bokuto snatched them off the ground on put them into his pocket.

“Let’s return these with Tsukki’s glasses!”

* * *

 

Hinata stretched his arms up, sighing at the taut pull of sore muscles. Yesterday was awesome and hopefully, today would also be filled with fun matches, flying receives and “invigorating dashes over the green slope behind the hill”. He peeked at Kenma to see his head completely buried in his blankets and could hear Inuoka mumbling in his sleep.

Slowly, he reached for his phone and stood up, quickly taking photos of the sleeping Nekoma players. Hinata giggled, placing it back down and rummaged into his bag for his toiletries. He pulled out his change of clothes as well: t-shirt, shorts, socks….

Where were his knee pads?

 He continued to sift through his bag, but didn’t see the familiar black protective gear. He dumped everything onto his futon, accidently waking up Kenma up when the keychains on his bag clacked together.

“Shouyo. What are you doing?”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to wake you! I can’t seem to find my knee pads.”

“Eh?” Kenma sat up. “Did you forget them somewhere?”

“I don’t think so? I’m sure I put them in my bag!”

“Hinata, you idiot!” Kageyama barged into the room. “Stop making so much noise in the morning!”

“Says you!” Hinata retorted. “I can’t find my knee pads.”

“Use mine.” Kageyama reached into his bag and pulled out a pair still in its plastic packaging. “I can’t believe you didn’t bring any spares, considering how forgetful you are.” He sneered. “Dumbass.”

“Shut up! The only people who bring spare knee pads are those who are stupid enough to lose their first pair in the first place!”

“Excuse me?! You should be thanking me for letting you use them!”

Kenma sighed. He really should change rooms.

* * *

 

After breakfast, Yamaguchi made his way to the door where everyone had placed their volleyball shoes. He looked around and found his pair, pulling them out from under the large pile. He sat down to put them on, only to see a distinct lack of shoelaces.

He looked around, but didn’t see anything or anyone who would be behind the disappearance of his laces. Looking back down at the sorry state of his shoes, he felt confused. Who would steal shoelaces but not the shoe itself? He checked the pile beside him and concluded that only his pair had missing laces.

Why him?

“Yamaguchi? What’s wrong?”

He looked up to see Hinata’s curious face.

“Ah… It seems that I’ve been burgled.”

“WHAT?”

“Ah, it’s nothing important! Just my shoelaces…”

“They are important! How are you going to volleyball without your shoes?”

“Well, technically I still have shoes…”

“Ah!” Hinata’s face lit up. “Maybe Kageyama has a pair!”

“Eh? Why would he have shoelaces?”

“No, not shoelaces! Shoes!”

“What? That’s even more ridiculous! Who would bring spare shoes?”

Hinata scoffed. “Who would bring spare kneepads? Anyways, what’s your shoe size?”

* * *

 

Bokuto raced ahead into the gym, his pockets now filled with a pair of shoe laces.

“Why did we take them again?”

“Look at them, Kuroo!” He whipped them out. “They’re fraying!”

“Yeah, I know it could be dangerous if they continued to use them, but why can’t we just tell them?”

Bokuto raised a finger. “First, it’d take too long to find out who owns those shoes, wasting time that could be spent on court.” He lifted up another. “Second, we might be too late and the poor soul could be injured when we could have prevented it.” He raised a third. “Finally, and most importantly…”

Bokuto clenched his hand, raising his fist.

“We’d look like weirdos for noticing something like that on someone else’s shoes.”

Kuroo blinked.

“True.”

The two stared at each other and nodded. They would not mention this to anyone. Instead, they turned back around and went to go warm up. As they walked past some yellow water bottles, Kuroo stopped.

“What’s wrong?” Bokuto asked.

Kuroo reached down and picked up a small pouch. “What’s this doing here?”

“I don’t know. Do you recognise it?”

“Yeah, my mum has one of these.”

“Let’s go ask my managers then!”

The two captains headed back to the cafeteria.

* * *

 

“Ah.”

Kageyama looked around.

“It’s gone.”

“What’s gone?”

He looked over to see Tsukishima sitting on the floor. His face contorted.

“None of your business.”

“So rude! I was just curious as to what, other than volleyball, bothered the Almighty King so much.”

“It does involve volleyball!”

“Oh? Does it now?” Tsukishima gestured to the yellow plastic bottles on the floor. “Then why are you loitering around the drink bottles?”

“Because I last placed it here, obviously!”

Hinata trotted over to them, curious to find out why Tsukishima was willingly talking to Kageyama.

“What’s up?”

“King, here, lost something.”

“Eh? You don’t have any spares? How surprising!”

“Shut up! If I did, I wouldn’t be ‘loitering around’, would I?!”

“What did you lose then? We’ll help you find it. Right, Tsukishima?”

“Don’t pull me into this.”

Kageyama shifted left to right.

“My nail kit.”

Silence.

Tsukishima grinned. “Geez, and I thought it was something important.”

“It is! I need to make sure my nails are perfectly clipped.”

Tsukishima huffed. “If you say so. Why not get a manicure while you’re at it?”

Kageyama bristled. Was there something wrong with nail maintenance?!

“Kageyama-kun? Would you like to use mine?”

The three looked around to see Shimizu holding out her own nail kit, offering it to the setter.

“Uh… Um… I mean…” Kageyama waved his arms around, not sure what to do. Shimizu smiled gently and stretched out her hand with the kit in it. He quickly snatched it and held it against his chest, his red face tilted down in embarrassment. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem. Suga’s asked for tips on how to file nails, so I assume this is a setter sort of thing?”

Kageyama nodded, sitting down and pulling out a small file. As he worked his nails, Hinata went back to the court while Tsukishima placed his headphones over his ears as he wasn’t allowed to play until his glasses showed up again. Shimizu sat down and watched Kageyama file away.

“You have very nice nails.”

“Eh?!” Kageyama jolted. “Um… I try to take care of them as much as possible, so…”

“You do a very good job of it.”

“Ah… Thank y-”

“KIYOKO-SAN!!!” Tanaka’s voice boomed in the gym “I also lost my nail kit!”

“Me too!” Nishinoya followed. “Please let me use yours!”

* * *

 

The two made their way back into the gym. None of Fukurodani’s managers were missing their nail kits, it seemed.

Akaashi noticed them as they entered. “Ah, Bokuto-san? Tsukishima’s been looking for you. He said he had something urgent to say to you.”

“Geh?!” He looked left and right before pulling Kuroo out into the hallway again. “Do you think Tsukki knows?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Dammit! He’ll just accuse us of being thieves. Having all the other stuff makes us look worse!” Bokuto scratched his head. “He’ll never thank us for helping him!”

“We did technically steal them though…”

“Yeah, but not everything else!”

“It’s okay, he hasn’t found us yet.” Kuroo reasoned.

Bokuto nodded. “What do we do then?”

“We’ll just hide the stuff!”

“Yeah, good idea!”

They scanned around the hallway and Kuroo noticed a bag near the entrance way to the gym.

“That’s one of Karasuno’s bags, right?”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure! Let’s just stuff all of it in there!”

“Cool! They’ll never know we did it!”

The two laughed gleefully before emptying their pockets and throwing it all into the small bag. Once their work was done, they patted each other’s shoulders and walked back into the gym.

“Why were you giggling?”

“We weren’t giggling!” The two captains folded their arms across their chests.

“Sure you weren’t.” Akaashi paused. “What are you two scheming?”

They looked at each other before smirking widely.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

* * *

 

“Eh? Why’s this all in my bag!”

Yachi pulled out a pair of glasses, knee pads, a nail kit and shoe laces and laid them out onto the floor. The rest of Karasuno walked over after hearing her exclaim in confusion and noticed the items.

“Ah, my knee pads!!!” Hinata snatched them off the ground and sat down to change out of Kageyama’s spares.

“Tsukki, your glasses are here.” Yamaguchi passed them to the middle blocker before reaching out and grabbing the shoe laces. Spotting his nail kit, Kageyama picked it up and walked over to the yellow drink bottles.

“Oh my god! Please don’t misunderstand!” Yachi started to wave her arms around. “I didn’t steal your stuff! I promise! I would never do that! I didn’t even know that Kageyama filed his nails!”

“It’s okay, Yachi-san!” Hinata said. “We know you didn’t do it!”

“It’s all right.” Shimizu placed her hand on Yachi’s shoulder. “We’ll find the real culprits.”

“We’ll find the ones who tried to frame you!” Tanaka exclaimed.

Nishinoya pumped his fist up. “We’ll get revenge for you!”

“Yes. They won’t get away.” Sawamura said.

Tsukishima raised his hand.

“I think I know who did it.”

* * *

 

A shiver shot down their spines.

Crap.


End file.
